Let me say this to start out this latest posting, I love America. Being an American National imparts on us a privilege and a benefit, for the most part, unmatched the world over. People, including myself at times, will argue against our greatness by citing our poverty level, the abundance of socialized services in other countries, our at times archaic, cruel, and/or puritanical collective social conscience, not to mention our ridiculous government policies on this that, and the other thing but all in all living in America, even for the poorest of individuals is a life much better than literally a majority of the 6.5 billion individuals living in the world can ever imagine.
That being said two things need to be understood. First, we are not truly the “Greatest” nation to ever exist. Not by far. In fact I will argue that nation has yet to rear is benevolent head.
Second, if, and hopefully not when, the pillars of our nation and society crumble under force of the undead or some other more conventional means, our nation will if only temporarily, cease to exist.
Let me breach the latter point first. What needs to be understood is that we, as every nation has ever been, are a nation built on the fragile foundation of laws and order. Our constitution, as vague as it can be, is one of the greatest documents ever created, because it lays out an effective map for the maintenance of law and order.
What also needs to be understood is that our system of laws and means of protecting order are subjective to individuals as a collective understanding and obeying the somewhat illusory statutes and authorities we as a collective of individuals have over time set in place.
I have in the past discussed some of the basics of zombie-hood. Lets continue on that for a while to help those who aren’t familiar with zombie lore, or more so, the widely accepted understandings of who/what zombies are.
I again recommend reading the works of Max Brooks, especially World War Z. Also watch Sean of the Dead, a hilarious movie, which actually gives a pretty good account of what a zombie infestation might be like, set to the music of Queen.
We spoke last of a truer definition of zombies, their motivations, and very briefly how to stop them. How to stop zombies will represent a significant series of postings, so we’ll just be skimming the surface at best for now.
What I’d like to discuss this time is how zombies have come to exist and how they would be allowed to proliferate in numbers large enough to cause a wide scale “outbreak”. Now, I do prefer the term outbreak. Being a zombie is a disease. It is a disease that kills you, than forces you to walk the earth seeking live-human flesh, which serves no nutritional value to you whatsoever. Go Figure. Zombies are like teenagers going after convenience store nachos.
Now before we go farther into proliferation let’s talk about the creation story. Zombies are potentially created by a few different methods:
Science: Science, as we know it, in the hands of those who would prefer to use its glory and wonder for the purpose of war or profit, have been known to create some pretty nasty stuff. Napalm, Atomic Weapons, Anthrax, and of course Biological weapons. It could be foreseen that a bunch of G-men scientist all got together to create a weapon that would slowly kill the enemy and cause him to infect his comrades by through the transmission of bodily fluids via feces, blood, semen, and saliva only to find that while it does slowly kill them, it also brings them back as the living dead. (Yes, I predict in the early days of urban outbreaks, we should watch the streets for Zombie hookers. Swear to god, Zombie hookers will be the first sign).
Nature: Some guy is going to fuck a zombie monkey in the Amazon and it’s the eighties all over again. Hopefully a sexually repressed President won’t be in office so we can admit that people do weird shit for sexual pleasure, and not just get kicked out of office for doing said weird shit on the side. This could also happen if we come into contact with a spore or a bacterium that was previously uncovered and it spreads slowly through the world via out elaborate trans-continental transportation system. More on that in a few.
God: God created the word and this time instead of making an elderly man build a big ass boat using a measuring system queerer than Metric before he drowns all the heathens and sinners, he’ll unleash the recently deceased upon us in revenge for taking advantage of the free will he gave us. Those who can’t get into heaven will be set forth to eat the sinners and heathens. “Hey bill isn’t that your priest eating that little boy!? And look over there, a zombie!”
You can imagine a million ways zombies can come to fruition. My personal favorite has something to do with a combination of sleeping pills, dirty spinach, and the bird flu.
The honest answer is we may never truly know how zombies come to exist. While it may help us to understand the disease that causes “Zombiphilia”, if you will, it won’t truly help us to stop the disease. (I’m going to continue to use the term “Zombiphilia”, as I believe it represents a recognizable description of the ailment.) Much like AIDS and HIV, while in time we may be able to slow the march of the disease, we probably won’t be able to stop it. To that point, the science and medicine that has allowed people to live their lives, virtually without complication. The disease, most likely an exotic virus or the like, will not allow people to live a life of any quality. It will kill a person, and it will cause them to reanimate, eventually.
The recent discovery of the potentially disastrous “Bird Flu” has given a few insights into the transmission of illnesses throughout the modern world. The reason the aforementioned flu is considered to volatile is in much part due to the host which carries it. Birds are by nature migratory, therefore, any disease they carry will migrate with them.
During the plight of the Black Plague, the disease du jour was carried through out Europe on trade routes by infected rats. Imagine if you will, during the initial zombie outbreak, we are those rats. Except instead of a rat having to survive on a trip by boat for months potentially to go from one edge of the world to the other, a person can travel from New York to Los Angeles, heading east mind you, in about a days time.
A recent headline catcher involved a man with a potentially dangerous strain of tuberculosis who was able to travel across borders without being stopped. Another involved a man who was poisoned by small amounts of radioactive material, enough to kill him, that left traces of the stuff on the plane he flew in, exposing hundreds potentially to danger.
If you doubt the possibility of a disease of this, think of our power to stop people from crossing the border, or from eating tainted food, or getting poisonous children’s toys shipped to our homes. These aren’t all necessarily connected, but they do say that we are often all to aware of the threats against us, far to late for them to be stopped.
Two things, I will argue will next to doom us in the initially stages of the outbreak:
Not understanding the disease or its symptoms. People will not know what is happening to their loved ones. Hospitals and clinics may misdiagnose the disease due to inexperience and lack of information. People will essentially go about their business after being infected, spreading themselves throughout the world. And it will be a long time before a true understanding of the threat. Because this lack of understanding, we get point number 2.
The Government(s) will, almost without question, FUCK IT UP HUGE!! Can you imagine a response to zombies walking the earth as inept as the response to Hurricane Katrina; missing all the warning signs, poorly planning for basic needs, allowing the disintegration of order, temporary RETARDATION of the minds of civic leaders, denial of actual issues at hand by the federal government, late reaction time, poor execution of emergency planning, an evacuation efforts that leave all those without private transport and many with stranded or deadlocked in traffic, near complete breakdown of public health systems, so on and so forth. It will be a bad time my friends a bad time indeed.
Jan 1, 2008
Oct 29, 2007
Article II: More Zombie Basics
What We Can Learn From Zombies: An objective look at the world of the living dead and their reflections on modern American society.
Article II: Zombie Basics Continued
Article II: Zombie Basics Continued
Last time we discussed some of the basics of zombie-hood. Lets continue on that for a while to help those who aren’t familiar with zombie lore, or more so, the widely accepted understandings of who/what zombies are.
I again recommend reading the works of Max Brooks, especially World War Z. Also watch Sean of the Dead, a hilarious movie, which actually gives a pretty good account of what a zombie infestation might be like, set to the music of Queen.
We spoke last time of a truer definition of zombies, their motivations, and very briefly how to stop them. How to stop zombies will represent a significant series of postings, so we’ll just be skimming the surface at best for now.
What I’d like to discuss this time is how zombies have come to exist and how they would be allowed to proliferate in numbers large enough to cause a wide scale “outbreak”. Now, I do prefer the term outbreak. Being a zombie is a disease. It is a disease that kills you, than forces you to walk the earth seeking live-human flesh, which serves no nutritional value to you whatsoever. Go Figure. Zombies are like teenagers going after convenience store nachos.
Now before we go farther into proliferation let talk about the creation story. Zombies are potentially created by a few different methods:
Science: Science, as we know it, in the hands of those who would prefer to use its glory and wonder for the purpose of war or profit, have been known to create some pretty nasty stuff. Napalm, Atomic Weapons, Anthrax, and of course Biological weapons. It could be foreseen that a bunch of G-men scientist all got together to create a weapon that would slowly kill the enemy and cause him to infect his comrades by through the transmission of bodily fluids via feces, blood, semen, and saliva only to find that while it does slowly kill them, it also brings them back as the living dead. (Yes, I predict in the early days of urban outbreaks, we should watch the streets for Zombie hookers. Swear to god, Zombie hookers will be the first sign).
I again recommend reading the works of Max Brooks, especially World War Z. Also watch Sean of the Dead, a hilarious movie, which actually gives a pretty good account of what a zombie infestation might be like, set to the music of Queen.
We spoke last time of a truer definition of zombies, their motivations, and very briefly how to stop them. How to stop zombies will represent a significant series of postings, so we’ll just be skimming the surface at best for now.
What I’d like to discuss this time is how zombies have come to exist and how they would be allowed to proliferate in numbers large enough to cause a wide scale “outbreak”. Now, I do prefer the term outbreak. Being a zombie is a disease. It is a disease that kills you, than forces you to walk the earth seeking live-human flesh, which serves no nutritional value to you whatsoever. Go Figure. Zombies are like teenagers going after convenience store nachos.
Now before we go farther into proliferation let talk about the creation story. Zombies are potentially created by a few different methods:
Science: Science, as we know it, in the hands of those who would prefer to use its glory and wonder for the purpose of war or profit, have been known to create some pretty nasty stuff. Napalm, Atomic Weapons, Anthrax, and of course Biological weapons. It could be foreseen that a bunch of G-men scientist all got together to create a weapon that would slowly kill the enemy and cause him to infect his comrades by through the transmission of bodily fluids via feces, blood, semen, and saliva only to find that while it does slowly kill them, it also brings them back as the living dead. (Yes, I predict in the early days of urban outbreaks, we should watch the streets for Zombie hookers. Swear to god, Zombie hookers will be the first sign).
Nature: Some guy is going to fuck a zombie monkey in the Amazon and it’s the eighties all over again. Hopefully a sexually repressed President won’t be in office so we can admit that people do weird shit for sexual pleasure, and not just get kicked out of office for doing said weird shit on the side. This could also happen if we come into contact with a spore or a bacterium that was previously uncovered and it spreads slowly through the world via out elaborate trans-continental transportation system. More on that in a few.
God: God created the word and this time instead of making an elderly man build a big ass boat using a measuring system queerer than Metric before he drowns all the heathens and sinners, he’ll unleash the recently deceased upon us in revenge for taking advantage of the free will he gave us. Those who can’t get into heaven will be set forth to eat the sinners and heathens. “Hey bill isn’t that your priest eating that little boy!? And look over there, a zombie!”
You can imagine a million ways zombies can come to fruition. My personal favorite has something to do with a combination of sleeping pills, dirty spinach, and the bird flu.
The honest answer is we may never truly know how zombies come to exist. While it may help us to understand the disease that causes “Zombiphilia”, if you will, it won’t truly help us to stop the disease. (I’m going to continue to use the term “Zombiphilia”, as I believe it represents a recognizable description of the ailment.) Much like AIDS and HIV, while in time we may be able to slow the march of the disease, we probably won’t be able to stop it. To that point, the science and medicine that has allowed people to live their lives, virtually without complication. The disease, most likely an exotic virus or the like, will not allow people to live a life of any quality. It will kill a person, and it will cause them to reanimate, eventually.
The recent discovery of the potentially disastrous “Bird Flu” has given a few insights into the transmission of illnesses throughout the modern world. The reason the aforementioned flu is considered to volatile is in much part due to the host which carries it. Birds are by nature migratory, therefore, any disease they carry will migrate with them.
During the plight of the Black Plague, the disease du jour was carried through out Europe on trade routes by infected rats. Imagine if you will, during the initial zombie outbreak, we are those rats. Except instead of a rat having to survive on a trip by boat for months potentially to go from one edge of the world to the other, a person can travel from New York to Los Angeles, heading east mind you, in about a days time.
A recent headline catcher involved a man with a potentially dangerous strain of tuberculosis who was able to travel across borders without being stopped. Another involved a man who was poisoned by small amounts of radioactive material, enough to kill him, that left traces of the stuff on the plane he flew in, exposing hundreds potentially to danger.
If you doubt the possibility of a disease of this, think of our power to stop people from crossing the border, or from eating tainted food, or getting poisonous children’s toys shipped to our homes. These aren’t all necessarily connected, but they do say that we are often all to aware of the threats against us, far to late for them to be stopped.
Two things, I will argue will next to doom us in the initially stages of the outbreak:
Not Understanding the disease or its symptoms.
People will not know what is happening to their loved ones. Hospitals and clinics may misdiagnose the disease due to inexperience and lack of information. People will essentially go about their business after being infected, spreading themselves throughout the world. And it will be a long time before a true understanding of the threat. Because this lack of understanding, we get point number 2.
The Government(s) will, almost without question, FUCK IT UP HUGE!! Can you imagine a response to zombies walking the earth as inept as the response to Hurricane Katrina; missing all the warning signs, poorly planning for basic needs, allowing the disintegration of order, temporary RETARDATION of the minds of civic leaders, denial of actual issues at hand by the federal government, late reaction time, poor execution of emergency planning, an evacuation efforts that leave all those without private transport and many with stranded or deadlocked in traffic, near complete breakdown of public health systems, so on and so forth.
It will be a bad time my friends a bad time indeed.
A good friend suggested a Zombie Glossary. I will be posting one shortly, as well as links, and references to source material and Zombie paraphernalia.
Next time: “Why I’ll probably just go ahead and shoot myself in the head if a Zombie outbreak actually happens”. More on what to expect when the pillars of society begin to crumble.
The Government(s) will, almost without question, FUCK IT UP HUGE!! Can you imagine a response to zombies walking the earth as inept as the response to Hurricane Katrina; missing all the warning signs, poorly planning for basic needs, allowing the disintegration of order, temporary RETARDATION of the minds of civic leaders, denial of actual issues at hand by the federal government, late reaction time, poor execution of emergency planning, an evacuation efforts that leave all those without private transport and many with stranded or deadlocked in traffic, near complete breakdown of public health systems, so on and so forth.
It will be a bad time my friends a bad time indeed.
A good friend suggested a Zombie Glossary. I will be posting one shortly, as well as links, and references to source material and Zombie paraphernalia.
Next time: “Why I’ll probably just go ahead and shoot myself in the head if a Zombie outbreak actually happens”. More on what to expect when the pillars of society begin to crumble.
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